HURTFUL PEOPLE Don’t Let ‘Em Get You Down! What VOICES do you Listen to?

HURTFUL PEOPLE Don’t Let ‘Em Get You Down! What VOICES do you Listen to?


Sometimes I hear voices! Oh, I’m not crazy – these aren’t voices that instruct me to do evil things or poison the city’s water supply or drive my car off a cliff. In fact, these are voices that I often recognize, I’ve heard them before, and are embedded in the memory bank of my life. These are voices from my past, even when I was very young, like my mom, my dad, teachers, coaches, people I respected but for some reason they didn’t seem to respect me. They were critical, discouraging, they magnified my failures and minimized my successes. Words can wound! Now, I’m not saying that all these people did was discourage me or that they had evil intent, but for some reason I have chosen to block out the good and only remember the bad of what they said or did. Maybe it’s because my childhood was so dysfunctional that these things still rise up in my memory bank of experiences.

Today I still hear these same types of voices, except they are very real, current and sometimes deafening. It’s the banker telling me I don’t qualify for a loan; it’s the voice of a client telling me they have found a cheaper price or prefer a competitor; I have a radio program and maybe it’s the station manager in some far off city telling me my show just isn’t good enough yet for prime time; it’s the rejection I feel when an employee says, “I quit this job,” or a customer telling me they don’t want to buy the product I’m selling, or a listener telling me they didn’t like the last radio show I did, or someone posted a nasty commentary about me on social media for no apparent reason. Maybe someone even chose to get at me by insulting my wife or family. Actually, I’ve had all of these things and worse happen to me.

Well, if you are hearing discouraging voices, either from your past or your present, whether real or imagined, I have some advice for you: Don’t let ‘em get you down! Illegitimi non carborundum is a mock-Latin aphorism meaning “Don’t let the bastards grind you down.” You see, discouragement comes with the space we occupy in life, and if you are going to do anything at all, there will be someone who says, “I don’t like it; get back where you belong; learn your place; be nothing; do nothing; stay in the box that makes others feel comfortable and superior.” Throughout life people are going to come at you, try to harm you, try to lessen you, make you smaller. As you might have guessed, the problem is not with you – it never was! The problem is that there are people in life who are so wounded and so dysfunctional and in so much personal pain that they actually feel better by making others feel worse. These people who speak and do these terrible things to others often have impressive titles, like Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Husband, Wife, Coach, Teacher or Friend. Again, it’s not you; it’s them!

So what are you to do when people say and do hurtful things, when they maim and wound you with words and hatred that you have neither earned nor deserve? Let’s face it, in life people will step on you, over you, around you, and seemingly enjoy the pain they cause in the process. So what is the remedy, the magic elixir, the potion we can serve ourselves to be oblivious to the pain that others thrust upon us in our lifetime?

Here are a few solutions:

⦁ First, you have to realize, as we used to say as kids, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” No one has the power to make you feel bad; you and you alone control your feelings. You have complete responsibility and control for your life.

⦁ Take ownership of your own life. Take command of your life, your feelings, your emotions, and every aspect of your being.

⦁ Understand pain. Into each life will come pain – unfortunately, much of it unnecessary – but the fully self-actualized person refuses to be victimized by others, they get back up when knocked down, they take full control and full responsibility for their destiny. They understand pain is part of the process of life and beyond pain lies victory.

⦁ Stand firm. You will never arrive at your full measure in life if you relinquish your feelings and self-worth to the judgment of others. No event, no person, no circumstance can define you or label you for a lifetime. Don’t back up or back off. Only you can complete your unique mission on earth, so fulfill your destiny in spite of the obstacles placed in front of you.

⦁ Understand your life’s mission and value. You were brought into this world with goals and missions which only you can fulfill, and resistance is what builds our character just like it builds our muscles.

⦁ Run to the Fight. There will be fights in life that we cannot avoid or back away from. Realize that you were made for the fight, you are one of life’s warriors, you will not encounter circumstances that you are not empowered to overcome. So when the fight comes to you, attack, attack, attack!

⦁ Be strong. Whatever and whoever comes against you makes you stronger, makes you greater, makes you a doer, an achiever and an overcomer.

⦁ See people and events for what they are, and then take massive action to eliminate negative people and circumstances from your life. You can have a life of success and abundance; you and only you can fix your life; you and only you can create the life of your dreams!

You now know what to do: Don’t let ‘em get you down and just go for it!

TR hateful people 2

Hear these and more ideas for successful living every week on my weekly radio show: Makin It! (


Keep fighting the good fight – “GET BACK UP!”